


wrap me up, warm me

by himjongs



Series: Playlist Series [4]
Category: B.A.P
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 18:43:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himjongs/pseuds/himjongs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGvmrJ5rjM">Breathe Me by Sia</a> and <a href="http://imagineyourotp.tumblr.com/post/54942066212/tw-death">this</a> prompt.</p>
    </blockquote>





	wrap me up, warm me

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [Breathe Me by Sia](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGvmrJ5rjM) and [this](http://imagineyourotp.tumblr.com/post/54942066212/tw-death) prompt.

A dark room, window slightly ajar. Two empty bunks, plus one occupied by a man.

 

Curtains sway, wooden floorboards creak.

 

Yongguk stirs. “Junhong?”

 

“Hmm?” Junhong’s voice sounds from somewhere beside him.

 

Yongguk settles back in, rubbing his eyes. “I thought that was you.” He reaches out for his member’s hand. “Come lie with me.”

 

 

A near silent dorm and a wind chime- Junhong always liked the sliding door open so he could hear it. Yongguk watches the teen run his fingers across the bells. Pretty melodic chimes cut through the hum of American football on the flatscreen. Junhong closes his eyes as a breeze blows in, letting it split up strands of his thick hair.

 

“Junhong,” Yongguk calls out. “Come on,” he softly urges, gesturing towards the kitchen. “I’m making pizza.” 

 

Junhong smiles softly.

He seats himself on the counter and watches Yongguk prepare lunch.

 

He doesn’t talk as much as he used to. Comes and goes as he pleases. However anything is enough for Yongguk.

 

 

“…And then you toss the dough up like this.”

 

“Be careful, hyung,” Junhong laughs. Yongguk tosses the dough in the air a few times, pleased with Junhong’s laughter. He talks through the steps for perfect baking even though Junhong has seen in him make pizza many times. 

 

An unexpected knock at the door.

Yongguk looks over curiously, not expecting company. He shut the water off and dried his hands on his dish rag. Junhong vanished. 

 

 

“Himchan.” Yongguk stares into the face of his friend. “What’s the occasion?” He is almost a stranger now. Stopped punching in the dorm code long ago. It is strange seeing each other now. They need a reason to be looking one another in the eye.

 

“Just wanted to check up on you.” Himchan eases in, handing him fresh roses.

 

“You brought me flowers?” Yongguk frowns at the bouquet of white and yellow.

 

“Yeah,” he turns to face Yongguk. “How are you?” His expression is a mixture of pity and desperation.

 

“I’m fine,” the leader drawls suspiciously. “Why don’t you sit down?”

 

Himchan shuffles down the familiar hall to take a seat. Everything is in place and neat. Their rookie awards are displayed proudly behind glass. Some of Youngjae’s books still line the bookshelves. Himchan could bet Jongup’s Chris Brown mini poster is still tacked above his bunk. Daehyun’s bed was disheveled for two months before Yongguk remade it. Other than that everything is the same. Yet it feels different. The dorm is still. A ghost of the home he shared with his members.

 

“Would you like something to drink?” Yongguk offers. Himchan nods and waits for him to return with a coke.

 

The two sit quietly, taking short sips and pretending to pay attention to the tv.

 

“Why don’t you go home?” Himchan looks over and asks after long minutes of silence.

 

“This is my home,” Yongguk answers firmly. “This is our home.”

 

Himchan shakes his head. Feels it is pitiful for Yongguk to think he is doing something honorable by holing himself up in the dorm. He is torturing himself. “Yongguk, it really isn’t healthy for you to be staying here.” He speaks in another attempt to coax the leader back into his senses. “You should just take a trip home. Visit your grandparents- your brother. Write a song or something. Just grieve… properly.”

 

Yongguk’s expression hardens. “Is this the only reason you came by?”

 

Himchan sighs leaning forward to speak gently. “It’s been six months since-”

 

Yongguk abruptly stands to cut him off with a warning finger. “Don’t. _Don’t_.”

 

“Yongguk, it hurts me too!” Himchan exclaims with watery eyes. “We’re all hurting. But Junhong is gone-”

 

“Get out.”

 

“I’m not saying get over it-”

 

“I said leave!” Yongguk roars.

 

Himchan lets himself out. Yongguk drinks well into the night.

He allows darkness to fall around him. Shut the tv off. Refuses to play any song.

Dough dries out on the kitchen counter. The lights shining in from the complex across the way blur in his vision.

He deserves it all.

Junhong was just a kid. It was his duty as a leader to mentor him- take care of him.

Instead he pushed him away.

Afraid of tarnishing his good image- thinking he was doing what was best for the group. He drove Junhong away.

And now he regrets it. Feels so damn guilty. Yongguk never imagined something as common as a car accident would take the maknae away from him. It all has to be a nightmare.

 

He drops his fifth bottle. Watched it roll away and clink when it hits the rest.

He can’t get up from the leather recliner if he wanted to. More tears fill his reddened eyes as he chokes on brittle sobs of Junhong’s name.

 

 

Junhong sadly peaks around at Yongguk from the kitchen. Yongguk hiccups and sniffs, his body slumped over. It is clear that he is hurting inside and out.

 

The teen slowly goes over, sits at Yongguk’s feet and rests his head on his leader’s leg.

 

 

At the ocean, Junhong and Yongguk stand shoulder to shoulder on a dock. It’s hazy, they can hardly see three feet in front of them. Yet the sound of crashing waves is clear and distinct.

 

“I’m terrified of the sea,” Yongguk admits quietly. “It’s so great and mysterious.” There is a small boat tied to the end of the dock. Somehow he knows he has to get in it.

 

“A time comes when you must set sail,” Junhong mutters. Yongguk looks over at him. “You’ll be okay. Just as long as you go slowly. Everyone else has accepted the depths of the unknown sea.”

 

“Not me. I’m still skeptical.”

 

“Save your feelings for the storm.” Junhong gestures towards the boat. Yongguk does not know what causes his feet to move him forward. Or what makes him step inside. The rope disappears and he begins to sail away.

 

“I cant believe im out here,” he calls back to Junhong.

The sea surrounds him. It has no fear, wide and proud.

But it not clear to Yongguk. The further out he sails. The more his boat begins to rock. Waves crash into the vessel. Into Yongguk.

 

His boat seems to be wearing down. No match for the unforgiving sea.

Or the invisible moon holding its fate.

“This was a mistake,” he shouts to the teen watching him from the dock.

Junhong appears to be miles away, but his voice is still clear. “You have to go,” he calmly insists. “I’ll be fine.”

 

“But what about me?” He looks down at his drenched clothes then back at Junhong. “I’m scared.”

 

“Go on, hyung.”

 

Yongguk finds it harder and harder to keep his balance and his breath.

His boat doesn’t seem to fight back- being tossed around mercilessly.

The sea is sinking in. Fear at its coattails.

 

“I can’t swim.” Yongguk reaches out for Junhong. Junhong stands unmoving. Looking on as Yongguk loses himself. The man desperately searches for an escape that does not exist. The teen is far away- outlined in the mist. “Junhong.” Yongguk screams over and over again. “Zelo!”

 

“Hyung?”

 

Yongguk shoots upright breathing heavily. He pulls the sheet from his waist and wipes the sweat from his face.

“I had that dream again.” He turns to face Junhong sitting on the nightstand beside him. “You won’t leave me, right?”

 

Aside from the humidifier humming and puffing, silence fills the room. Junhong gazes back at his leader somberly. “Sleep.”

 

The next morning Yongguk awakes to the sound of tinkling bells. He rises and pads softly into the living room. “Junhong?”

He expects to find the teen playing with the chime as usual. But only finds the sliding door open, cool air blowing in. “Junhong?” He calls out again beginning to panic.

The teen appears at the door, looking out over the balcony. Yongguk sighs, relieved “There you are.”

 

Junhong looks back at him sadly.

 

Yongguk reaches out for his pale hand, “Come lie with me.”


End file.
